


Pause - Lets Take This Moment In

by Atlanta_Black



Series: Butterfly Effect [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Butterfly Effect, Chaos Theory, F/M, Gen, Narcissa Malfoy - centric, universe redo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 20:33:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13578429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atlanta_Black/pseuds/Atlanta_Black
Summary: No, they had not loved each other in the beginning. It was rather hard to love someone that you didn't know. But oh how they did learn to love each other. How could you not love someone who looked at you as if you hung the stars in the sky?It wasn't a love story like the one Andromeda and Ted had.It wasn't a school romance like Lily and James.But it was theirs and really what more did they need?Turns out, they needed more time.





	Pause - Lets Take This Moment In

**Author's Note:**

> Also, thanks to @Drabbleshy for beta work on this story!

            Narcissa Black graduates from Hogwarts on a warm day in June of 1972. Her happiness at finally being freed from attending school marred only by the fact that her oldest sister will not be present at her graduation. She does not dare let anyone else know that she longs to see Andromeda once more, but two years is a rather long time to go without being able to see your favorite sister, and it is even longer when you know you will _never_ see her again. If she does see her again one day, it will only be with hatred painted onto her features, and grief in her heart.

 

But, disregarding such unhappy thoughts, she plans on enjoying her freedom for the little bit of time that she has and hope that her mother doesn’t decide to bind her into a marriage contract too quickly.  She’s seventeen and feels free, the same way a bird in a building with glass ceilings feels free. She’s seventeen and the sun is warm against her skin. She feels like anything could happen right then.

 

Nothing ever happens. Bella calls her inside, her father congratulates her best he can, her mother eyes her classmates with a mixture of disdain and disgust, and she thinks that, for a moment, she sees an additional head of wild black hair observing her from the back of the hall.

 

Life goes on, nothing ever happens.

 

She has, however, greatly underestimated how bent her mother is on finding only the best and brightest for her youngest, most treasured child. Thus, her illusion of freedom lasts for another two years.

 

* * *

          Her mother gives her the news on an unusually warm day in November of 1974. It seems to her as if all of the biggest changes in her life have come to pass on warm days. The only change that had occurred on a cold day was Andy leaving and being disowned. That had been a cold day and one that had devastated her.

 

Her mother gives her the news, all smiles and unspoken threats that linger in the air between them.

 

“Lucius Malfoy has agreed to take your hand in marriage,” her mother informs her. The words ‘ _and you, too, shall agree’_ remain unspoken. She can feel the threat well enough that the words don’t need to be spoken.

 

“How kind of him. The Malfoy’s are very well known and respected,” she smiles, demure. “I’m sure we will be very happy together, Mother.” her mother gives her a pleased smile before going back to fussing over Aunt Walburga’s son, Sirius.

 

“She really _must_ make him stop socializing with all those uncivilized blood traitors. It is already bad enough that he is a Gryffindor but must he insist on continuously bringing even _more_ shame to the Black’s family name.” she hums and nods, listening to the all too familiar rant.

 

She could tell her mother and her aunt that it is no use, that Sirius’s devotion and _loyalty_ to his friends has no end or price to it. She could tell them that, at this point, his devotion is the best thing about him, even if it doesn’t justify or make up for his bullying ways. But telling either of the them any such things as those would be not only be useless but result in suspicious looks and too long lectures on how her sympathies should never be allowed to get the best of her. They would see such opinions as near blasphemy and would immediately become concerned about where she stands with the family. So, as she has always done, she sits quietly, smiles when needed and plays along, careful in her every step.

 

She’s twenty-two-years-old, and her life has been signed away without so much as a by your leave. She’s twenty-two and the sun feels warm where it touches her skin, and sometimes, she wishes she had been born as a creature with wings. Sometimes she wishes Andromeda had taken her with her when she went away. But she’s twenty-two and, half-formed dreams are no good for those in her role, so she smiles and nods along with her mother.

 

* * *

          In December, she sees Lucius for the first time since being told of their engagement. She’s sitting on the patio in the back garden watching the sky, the weather threatening snow at any moment. Then he comes sauntering around the corner, hair flashing in the sun. She’s sure her mother is situated in some window somewhere to make sure nothing inappropriate happens but she’s happy to have been granted the small privilege of having their first talk alone.

 

He stops a few feet in front of her and for a quite a few moments they just stare. This is the person she’s going to spend the rest of her life with and quite frankly she is terrified. She’d gladly put this off forever. She knows the kind of life that some pureblood women get trapped into and she is not eager to be one of them.

 

He _is_ beautiful. His hair is so pale it seems as if it should be translucent and his eyes are the most startling shade of grey. But there are no laugh lines and his eyes are shuttered and guarded.

 

“I was quite delighted when my father told me that I had been granted the pleasure of your hand in marriage.” he finally says, voice smooth, eyes carefully blank.

 

“You flatter me.” she says back, tone light, “If anyone was delighted it was me, I assure you. It is quite an honor to be chosen by a Malfoy.” she smiles, teeth gleaming. Tries not to think of the way Bella bares her teeth at people now, how sometimes she wishes she could do the same. He smiles, a smug look flashing over his face and her fingers twitch, the urge to reach for her wand so very tempting. If she was still in Hogwarts she would do it without a thought but her mother would disown her if she ruined this engagement.

 

“So, do tell me, what is a lovely lady like you doing sitting out here in the cold? Surely you would be happier inside.” she wonders if that is a subtle hint that he is cold or if he truly believes that the cold is too much for her.

 

“I like the way the wind feels against my skin.” she says back, tone light.

 

“What else do you like against your skin?” he smirks and her smile sharpens.

 

“Cashmere.”

 

“Oh, surely there must be something even better than cashmere.” he pushes, voice almost teasing.

 

“No, I can’t say that I’ve found anything better.” she retorts, tilting her head.

 

“Well maybe in a couple months you’ll be able to say differently.” she sees the sly look in his eyes and it makes something unpleasant curl in her stomach.

 

“Perhaps.” She pauses, watches the way his eyes trace her body, wishes again that she was Bella, that she didn’t have to pay attention to such tedious things as manners.  “So, tell me, I am ever so curious, where will be living after our wedding?”

 

“Malfoy manor of course.” He says, his eyes going back to hers, “My father has decided, in light of recent events, to move to France after the wedding. After the wedding, I will be taking over as head of the Malfoy family and we shall live in the ancestral home.” she studies him, there’s something decidedly brittle about the way he is holding himself now that he’s had to mention his father and she can’t help but think that his mother and his previous betrothed deaths are bothering him far more than he has let on to society.

 

She makes a soft humming sound before replying, “Ah, yes. I don’t believe I ever got to offer my condolences on your mother’s unfortunate death and on Drucella’s as well. As happy as I am to have been offered the chance to marry you I do hate that it came about due to such unfortunate circumstances.” she’s definitely not imagine how tight the skin around his eyes has gone as he offers a smile.

 

“Thank you. They are quite unfortunate circumstances but I still very pleased to have been offered your hand.” he says nothing else, instead going to sit on a bench off to her right and for the next few hours they stare at the sky in silence together. He finally takes his leave at sunset and she wonders if he sat like this with Drucella. If he took the time out of his day to sit quietly with his betrothed and just breathe. She might never know but she does know that she quite liked the fact that he did it with her.

 

She goes to sleep that night thinking that perhaps the marriage won’t be as awful as she had previously thought.

 

* * *

 

Lucius Malfoy is not quite sure how to feel about his wife-to-be. He hadn’t been ready for a marriage after having both his fiancée and mother die only six weeks ago but the youngest Black daughter had been offered by her mother and he would have been a fool to turn her down. An alliance between the Black’s and the Malfoy’s was sure to be beneficial.

 

She was beautiful and well educated and her blood was so very pure. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it though but something about her was putting him slightly off kilter. She was soft spoken and unfailingly polite. Whenever he had the chance to talk to her she came off as fairly knowledgeable about a great many subjects and she never went on about fashion or any other type of ladies’ gossip that was sure to drive him to tears. She mingled with the right people and she didn’t seem as if she would ever speak back to him. She seemed...perfect. Which was a terrifying prospect. No girl, no matter how pureblood bred they were seemed perfect. There was always some fatal flaw that put him off. Drucella had been completely ignorant on anything that wasn’t fashion or featured in Witch’s Weekly. He had ignored deciding it was better if his future wife didn’t know anything about his political doings. Narcissa however was clearly aware of political happenings but chose to not discuss them.

 

He was wary. He could admit that much to himself. He was wary and almost worried that Druella was sending her youngest daughter to kill him and seize the Malfoy wealth but he also had his doubts that Druella could think that far ahead.

 

She was beautiful though. He kept getting hung up on that bit. She was far prettier than most of the pureblood women his age. All blonde hair and blue eyes and so tiny it made you wonder if she wasn’t part faery. Almost the same way people at Hogwart’s in his 7th year had wondered if Lily Evans was human with her too bright eyes and hair. It made you wonder and then it made you wary.

 

But the wedding would go on despite his misgivings and he could really only hope she wasn’t hiding some horrible character flaw underneath that perfect smile.

* * *

Their wedding was a beautiful affair. Narcissa looked ethereal in her gown and Lucius looked absolutely stunning in his robes and the guests were in awe of what a beautiful couple they made.

 

_This will be the power couple of the ages just you watch._

_This will be the couple that every pureblood couple aspires to be._

_This is only the beginning._

 

The wedding was beautiful. But their wedding night is where the story really starts.

* * *

 

I step into the honeymoon suite with a grace that only slightly shocks me. I’m surprised I can move gracefully at all with how frayed my nerves are. I can feel my hands shaking and I’m happy for the thousandth time tonight that my gown has so much excess fabric where I can hide my shaking hands. I’m also happy for the hidden pocket in my dress that has my wand stored in it. This night would be even more difficult if my wand was somewhere impossible to reach.

 

Lucius’s hand is warm against my back and I feel that familiar conflicting surge of emotion that I’ve experienced far too often in the past few months. He had looked at me with awe in his eyes when I walked down the aisle earlier and I want to see that look again but first, first I have things to take care of. Things that he is not going to like and that awe could very well turn to hatred.

 

“Well wife of mine, what should we do now?” he whispers the question against my neck and I can hardly help the soft sigh that manages to escape me.

 

“I have some ideas.” I whisper back, “Why don’t you sit on the bed?” he presses a kiss to my neck and does so. That was honestly easier than I had been expecting but lust does bizarre things to men’s minds so I’m not too terribly surprised.

 

He’s sitting down, eyes soft and staring with a hint of his earlier awe still present in his eyes. There’s a brief moment where I hesitate and almost just give in to the temptation of his arms. A brief moment but this is something that has to be done. Something I won’t forgive myself for not doing.  His eyes are tracing my figure and so, it’s not really a surprise that he doesn’t react in time when I pull out my wand and cast expelliarmus. The incoherent roar of rage that leaves him as his wand hits my hand has me flinching even as I stand up straighter and point my wand at him.

 

“Do not stand up.” my voice barely wavers, an accomplishment considering the rage written all over his face.

 

“You fucking bitch. How dare you point your wand at me?” he spits the word outs, face red and I’m almost ashamed at how beautiful I still find him.

 

“I dare because I am now your wife and you will listen to what I am going to say.” I say tone even. “We are married now and I have a couple matters I want us to be very clear on. Do you understand?” he blinks a few times, just a bit of the rage leaving his features.

 

“You are not about to attempt to murder me for my wealth?” the rage is instant.

 

“Excuse me?! Why in merlin’s name would I have any need for your wealth? The Black’s match the Malfoy’s in terms of wealth I will thank you to remember.” I all but spit at him and he looks briefly taken aback by my tone before doing the most bizarre thing and smiling at me.

 

“I knew you couldn’t be as permanently pleasant as you were pretending to be.” he says, tone smug, “Although I did not think I would find out this quickly. Go ahead, tell me your terms. Get it over with.” I hold in a snarl, it will do me no good to start imitating Bella after all this time. Although the feeling that he is humoring me makes my blood boil.

 

“My first term is you will never force me to sleep with you. If I am not in the mood you will respect that and back off.”

 

“And if I don’t?” he asks, head tilted.

 

“Then I will leave.” I say it calmly, as if it’s not the worst thing a pureblood wife can do.

 

“You’ll be disowned from your family and mine if you do.” he counters.

 

“And regardless I will still leave. This is not negotiable.” he stares at me for a few more moments, eyes considering.

 

“I will agree. I had no plans on forcing you into having sex with me anyways. I am not as evil as that.”

 

“Swear it on your magic.” He leans forward, elbows on his knees and the image he presents make my knees go weak.

 

“I swear on my magic and on my name that I will never force you to have sexual relations with me in any way for any reason.” His eyes never leave mine and the air is thick with the magic from the vow. I swallow roughly before nodding.

 

“Thank you. My second term,” I swallow, this term is going to be the most difficult, “my second term is that I will not be forced into having a child before I’m ready.” His eyes narrow.

 

“And if you are never ready?” he immediately counters.

 

“Then we never have children.” I answer quietly, “But I will be ready just not in the first year of marriage.”

 

“And do you want me to swear this one of my magic as well.” He asks, voice sharp and bordering on hateful.

 

“No. Accidents can happen and I would not want you to lose your magic over something we could not help.” His shoulders relax slightly.

 

“My third term is that there will be no lies between us.” he stands up abruptly and looks as if he’s about to argue but I shoot off a hex that flies past his cheek and shatters the lamp behind him. “There will be no lies. You can choose to not tell me something, but if I ask you a question do not lie to me.” my voice is hard, this is not something I am willing to compromise on.

 

“And I suppose you will extend me the same courtesy?” he asks, voice sharp.

 

“Of course.”

 

“There are things in my life that I cannot tell you. There are certain activities that I engage in that you cannot know about without being in danger.” I don’t let my surprise at him telling me that much to show on my face.

 

“I’m aware of who you follow. Do you think my mother did not warn me?” if anything his eyes sharpen even more at that news.

 

“Are those your only terms wife of mine?” he asks, voice smooth.

 

“For now.”  he holds his hand out for his wand, “You never agreed to my last term.” I tell him quietly. I do not want to have to make good on my threats.

 

“Oh, don’t worry wife of mine,” his eyes are shining, “I will never lie to you.” and the way he says it sounds more like a threat than anything else he’s said. But still, he stands there and swears on his magic to never lie to me and the weight in my chest eases a bit.

 

I give him his wand and for a few moments he just stares at me and I stare back. The air is charged and I am nervous but excited all at once.

 

“Give me your wand.” he says lowly, hand stretched out. I hesitate but in the end, if he wants my wand he will take it. I only specified that he could not force me to sleep with him, nothing else. If he wants to curse me for threatening him he very well can. I step forward and place my wand in his hand, hoping he doesn’t notice how badly my hands are shaking.

 

He sits back down on the bed before pulling me forward and then into his lap. My dress is like a cloud the way it floats around us but he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. His left hand ends up settled on the back of my neck and his right is gripping my waist hard enough it feels as if it might bruise.

 

“My father would tell me to curse you for pulling a stunt like that.” he murmurs. My breath hitches and his eyes fasten on my throat as I swallow nervously. “What do you think, lovely? Should I curse you for having the nerve to take my wand and threaten me?”

 

I exhale shakily before answering, “I think you liked watching me threaten you.” I tell him, my voice low. My hands move away from where they’ve been hanging against my side to grip his shoulders. His eyes shoot back up to mine and his eyes have gone dark, looking closer to melted silver than their normal grey.

 

“Is that so?” his hand moves from my neck to bury itself in my hair, “I think that you have sorely tested my patience tonight, lovely.” he gives a sharp pull to my hair and that moan that leaves my mouth is absolutely filthy. “I’m going to make you feel so good tonight that you forget you ever threatened to leave me.” he murmurs, breath warm against my throat.

 

Later I couldn’t say which of us moved first but it’s as if we fall into each other. His lips on mine and my hands in his hair and he’s suddenly flipping us around so that I’m lying on the bed, him hovering above me and that look of awe is back in his eyes.

 

I don’t know anything about being in love with someone but if I can keep that look in his eyes then I think this will be a happy marriage indeed.

 

* * *

 

The years go on, Narcissa and Lucius flourish, and the gossip spreads around, as gossip is inclined to do.

 

Everyone would agree, pureblood and muggle-born alike, that Narcissa Malfoy was the perfect pureblood wife. Beautiful, graceful and soft spoken. She ran the Malfoy household with a strong but gentle hand. She hosted beautiful parties, gossiped with other pureblood wives, attended all the most important functions, and above all else, she kept her mouth shut about her husband's less than legal activities. Yes, everyone would agree, Narcissa was the perfect pureblood wife.

 

Only one person really knew Narcissa, however. Lucius Malfoy had been aware that his wife was exceptional from the night of their wedding onward. He would have like to say that he was aware before they were married but he had to admit that he had really not been sure. He remembers the wedding night with perfect clarity however. Remembers that fierce rush of rage and lust and awe that had flooded his veins that night. Remembers how beautiful she had been in her gown, nerves making her eyes too bright. Remembers the way she had barely looked real.

 

The years go on and no, they had not loved each other at the beginning but oh, they loved each other now.

 

How could you not love someone who looked at you as if you hung the stars in the sky.

 

The years go on. Their happiness seems untouchable and then, as everything usually does, it all goes downhill.

 

The Dark Lord had descended into madness and the times were dark for everyone. Even the staunchest supporters were terrified for their safety. Narcissa refused to try for a child anymore, refusing to bring a child into the world with danger coming from both sides. He never blamed her, didn’t push her, but they made a mistake. Made a mistake, forgot to use the spells, and he’s never seen such panic on her face than when she realized. He had tried to reassure her but she had refused his support, forbidden him from telling anyone. She locked herself away for weeks and when she had come out one day, uncommonly sweet and loving, he really should have known what was coming next.

 

He had woken up the next morning to a note. She was gone. He’d known it was a possibility. If she really decided she wanted to leave then leave is what she would do but the reality of it was shocking. His wife, his heart, was gone. Marriage rings laid atop the note left on his pillow. Gone and with child and Lucius had never regretted his choices quite so much. But what’s done is done and he would see it through. Never let it be said that Malfoy’s were turncoats.

 

* * *

 

_Seven months later, in a small village, two babies are born. One was expected, the other was not._

_The first is a boy, who looks so much like his father that sometimes his mother cries over him at night._

_Draco Lucius Malfoy._

_The second is a girl, a little miracle that no one had expected. Sometimes her mother cries over her as well. Cries for the father who has yet to meet these little miracles._

_Cassiopeia Sirrah Malfoy_

_In a small village, change is coming._

_A butterfly flaps its wings. The currents change, the grim is free._

_A tornado forms and Merlin help anyone who gets in its path._

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone interested as to why I chose the name Cassiopeia Sirrah Malfoy. Cassiopeia is a star which I thought Narcissa would pick to continue on Black traditions and Sirrah is another name used to refer to Alpha Andromedae, the brightest star in the Andromeda constellation. So, basically, Sirrah is her way of naming her daughter after her sister.


End file.
